I remember the café was too quiet.

The kind of quiet where your own thoughts sound louder than the conversations around you if that makes sense.
My hands were wrapped tight around my half-empty mug of coffee.

Across from me was a friend I’d grown up with.
One of those people you’ve known so long it feels impossible to outgrow them.

But my chest was tight because I knew I was about to say something that might do exactly that.

I swallowed hard.
“I uh… I dropped out of my uni degree.”

Their eyes flicked up. No smile. No nod. Just bloody a long pause.

“I cancelled it. I don’t know… I just couldn’t do it. I want to… I think I want to start making vlogs. Like, travel. Share what I’m learning. Make some clothing too, or do videography. Try to figure it out as I go.”

They blinked at me. Set their cup down. And then they said it.

“But… I thought we were supposed to finish our degrees…”

“I thought we were supposed to get a job. Save up. Do all the boring shit first.”

I felt my stomach drop.
Because for a second, I could feel the gravity of their words pulling me back in.

Supposed to.
Supposed to.
Supposed to.

Like some unspoken contract I’d signed at birth.

But then I caught myself.

No one was coming to enforce it.
No one was going to arrest me for tearing it up.

I stared down at my coffee and thought:

What if the fact I’m not supposed to… is exactly why I have to?

This book(*) is for anyone who’s felt that same knot in their stomach.
For anyone who’s dared to want more than what they’re “supposed to.”
For the ones ready to burn the script…
And write their own.

So, this obviously isn’t a book, like the last paragraph said.
That’s an excerpt from a - dare I say it and put it into the world - book - shit, no backing out now - that I’m currently writing.

But that moment has always stayed with me.
“Supposed to”
What is it, we are supposed to do as humans on this planet?
Anyway, I’m unpacking that one in my (very messy) manuscript at the moment.
Maybe there’s something to think about there…

What are you doing out of assumed expectations, rather than agency?

Follow your gut. Start that side hustle. Book that flight. Drop that fake friendship. Start a new one.
There’s no “supposed to”.

I’ve now made my way to Lyon, France.
A nice city with lovely people and incredible food.

So what got my girlfriend and I here, and to a lot of places for a good price?

Trainline.


Not affiliated - I’ve just been using this app for so long to book cheap buses and train tickets. If you’re doing the Eurail or not, this app is amazing for sorting out those travel days and finding the cheapest options all in one platform. (Surely sponsor me)

Omio is a good app for this too!

Really enjoyed this convo from a lead motivational speaker and life coach Simon Sinek - give it a whirl <3

Reply with how you found this read, or what you’d like to go in future letters.

Chat soon,

Sam.