Ever thought that, or said it out loud?
The late night dread of your future, or a panic that you’ve picked the wrong path in university…

Over the last years I’ve dropped out of university to pursue the exploration of a fulfilling life. In that time I’ve tried starting businesses, became a full time videographer for a bit, developed enough income streams to travel the world, and have built a following of over 70,000 people on social media by sharing my journey, and talking about life growing up in the modern world.

And at multiple points along my journey, or perhaps even the whole time, I’ve been driven by this feeling that I think you might relate to.

Or rather than being a feeling, sometimes it comes up as a series of questions.

I vividly remember lying in my bed, wide awake at midnight last summer, staring at the ceiling, with this feeling of dread running through my body.

And the overwhelming thought that would circle through my head on nights like this was,

I’d get stressed enough that I’d need to go take a shower, or hit a late night run, or at least hop onto my phone to distract myself from it.

I’d begin to spiral, and think about how my current path might be able to support a family one day, what my plan b career might be, who I’d have to borrow money from, what friends would stick around if I became a failure…

Each time this wave of a feeling and tsunamis of thoughts rose over me, and I went another day pursuing my goals in spite of it, I realised something pretty special.

I’d found the #1 thing that stops most people from chasing their dreams…

And from chasing an extraordinary life.

A few months after that story, I began to try write down everything I could about this feeling. I’d research it intensely when it came up.

And I’m going ahead and calling it the Existential Bug.

Now this bug isn’t like an illness. Imagine it like some fly, or moth… a physical bug.

Every now and then, this bug might land on your shoulder.

And then it’ll start to itch:

It loves to hang out with people who are young and ambitious, like yourself.

The longer it’s ignored, the itch grows.

That restlessness you’ve been feeling, the one that hits when you open your laptop to start another assignment you don’t care about, or the heavy feeling that shows up in your chest when people ask, “What are you doing next year?”

That’s the bug on you.

And it’s itching.

Most people try to medicate that itch in the wrong way:

Originally this analogy of mine used to mean “bug” as in an illness.

But when I was sharing it with a friend, they asked me why it’s such a bad thing.

Do you want to fear this bug, just like you would fear a disease?

Not at all, because it’s not a disease, and it’s not something to be afraid of, I thought.

Try think about a time in your life when you had this “existential bug” land on you.

Maybe it was while studying, or during an exam, or when choosing your units, or while you’re about to return home after travelling…

What did you do about it?

Because here’s the thing.

You decide if that bug is either fear, or curiosity.

It will land on you, whether you like it or not, and probably when you’re not expecting it.

It’ll whisper questions that your body is craving an answer to:

If you try to swat it away, or bury it in distractions, it’s gone for a moment, but I promise you it’ll come back like a bee that you’ve pissed off.

BUT, if you gave yourself the space - maybe a semester, a trip, or even sometimes just a moment with yourself and nothing else…

You might finally hear what it’s trying to tell you.

Everyone gets the bug, and the itch is just the signal.

It’s the feeling, or those anxiety driven questions…

But if you can be the person brave enough to pause for long enough, and notice the bug is there, or even be like, “oh, the E.B’s with me right now… I wonder why...”

If you courageously sit with those feelings, and follow them to where they might be leading, then there is an incredulous amount of value behind the experience that gets missed by 99.9% of people.

So, next time you feel this existential bug land on your shoulder, and itch up these feelings and doubts, in spite of how strong it can feel, and the desire you might have for a shallow escape, see if you can ask yourself these questions instead:

These are the kind of questions most people your age don’t ever ask themselves, and it’s single handedly some of the most important reflecting you may ever do.

Now on it’s own, on a normal Tuesday, you might not get a lot out of your mind when you try to answer these questions.

But pair these questions with the Existential Bug on your shoulder, and you unlock something.

And that is the power of the existential bug. It’s makes you think like a deep existentialist about your life. All your cards are on the table. Your fears, your dreams and hopes, deep rooted desires, along with the fake ones, are all there for you to see, analyse, and reflect on.

You’ll know when you’ve got the existential bug with you, because thoughts will come to you in beautiful ways while you reflect.

And I can’t promise it’ll change your life, but it was in a moment like this, where I had the existential bug for the first time as a kid, that I realised I needed to drop out of university.

And again, for booking my trip around the world.

Starting a new business.

And now, going all in on my dreams, again, through writing a book on how to find freedom through a gap year.

It’s not about how to “get through” the existential bug, but about how to “grow through” the bug.

I hope this concept has hit you like a right hook from Jake Paul, or whoever you fantasise about getting punched by.

New content series!!

I’m in the business of trying new things, and this idea popped up in my head on Monday.
Instead of these overly scripted, sitting in your office style videos, what if I made one while skipping stones down by the river?

Enjoy 23 minutes of:
- How I got stuck in Singapore (& denied entry into Vietnam)
- Thoughts on finding peace in your 20s
- Travelling for adventure, not for rest from work
- A life update of my own
- Some pretty elite stone skips (8-10 skips for a few of them)

I’m going to refine it - all feedback welcome.

I also happened to drop my first set of LUTs!

For people who don’t know anything about video editing, think of it like a filter for your vids. The left is footage straight out of your camera, and the right is once you use my LUT.
If that sparks your interest, then click here :)

A little thing to admit about the earlier essay…

I actually lost my notes on the E.B that I’d written last year.

So what you read above, was me essentially drawing on what I could remember + creativity over 60 minutes of “deep focus” work.

Here’s what helps me be my most creative self:

Working the creative mind first
I’m not my most inspired, focused and creative at 6pm. I set 1 hour, from 7:30am to 8:30am to write. It almost always flies by, and I lock in.

Getting some focus tunes on
Head to the last newsletter for my playlist, and more on this.

Setting a time constraint
Working under a constraint, especially an ambitious one (Eg; 1000 words in 60 minutes) forces me to get started.

Have a good reason to stop (strategic break)
This helps the constraint hold. Go for a healthy break (surf, walk, run, gym, get a coffee with a mate). Then if I haven’t finished the work, I’m keen to finish it off when I get back.

Worth a shot if you’ve got something you want to work on. Also, less distractions at 7am than the arvo - I’ll just end up watching the footy if I try do it later.

I’m not always a Chris Williamson guy, and I couldn’t say much about Mike Israetel, but this poddy has been super refreshing so far. Two well spoken people talking about inspiration, motivation, and the setting + pursuing of goals. Excuse a couple off hand / offensive if you like to get offended comments from Mike here and there, and you’ve got a great listen.

See ya next week :)

Sam

ps - reply to this email directly with thoughts & feedback! I read ‘em all <3